The Pregnancy

This will be a chapter in our lives that will never be forgotten.

How we felt, how we reacted, our views, our stand on what's right and ultimately; our final decision.

Right now, I am still numb from the shock, I am trying to comprehend the amount of shit we're in. There's so many things to consider before making our final decision. Even though we have made it, before anything is confirmed; change of minds could take place.

I just don't know what to feel at this point in time. Should I be happy? Sad? Regret? All I know is, the faster we fix the problem, the better. I couldn't bear the feeling of life growing inside of me. I do feel guilty but ultimately, its our choice.

Baby, we will be pro-choice.

Logical thinking must be underway. We just have to.

There's no way we can keep this. I see many reasons for not keeping it.

We're not ready financially.
We're not ready mentally.
We're not married yet.
I just had rubella.

The reason that moves me the most is the fact that I just had rubella! There's a 51% chance that it might have caught CRS and I just don't want to risk it. I know we should love it nonetheless but I think its cruel. I am just not that strong enough to raise a different child. I really would rather not bring an imperfect being into this world.

I don't want to carry it only for it to be plagued with deformities. I don't want to risk having that chance regardless of the percentage.

We should do it fast and do it now before it gets any worse.
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