Lovely Christmas

Even though being with so many people on Christmas i still feel a little alone, as though something is missing, maybe i miss my mum, or that i wish she was still alive or that i wish that i didn't survive my fall. maybe i didn't deserve to survive it but by some strange luck i did. by wishing these things i know i am being un-gratefuller and i should use my second chance to get this right and not to waste this gift given to me by god. the one thing that's keeping me from killing me self is knowing that your still by my side and that god has placed you as a guardian angle to take care of me and watch me so i don't go astray. i have no idea why i feel this way my love but sharing every moment of this precious gift with you is my best present of all.