A New Enlightenment.

Today i met up with Rebecca Yau,
to my surprise she was nothing like what i thought she was, she brought to my attention so many things that i thought i would never be able to explain. i just have to think positive. these are a the few thing i learned from her;
1)people judge you only because they cant judge them self.
2)i should love my self like how i loved my gf's.
3)don't make a weekly goal
4)don't harp over the past, as whats done is done.
5)my happiness matters more than others.


thank you Becca, you truly shine some light on my life.

‘All I’ve sacrificed in vain for the one I love”

All I’ve sacrificed for you, all I gave up for you, even if you said you didn’t ask me to, but you know if I love you enough I will do it.
1. I gave up my friends,
2. I gave up my hobbies,
3. I gave you all my time,
4. Sacrificed my savings,
5. Bent to your every fancy,
6. Gave up my principles,
7. Lost the idea of who I am,
8. Stood by you when who you thought were your friends were against you?
9. When all were against you I stood by you,
And now you leave me when I need you most, when I am drowning in sorrow you leave me to die alone, I hate all that I give up for you, who am I now with out you, just some empty shell of a man who you crafted to your liking and discarded like last seasons shoes, how can you be so cruel to some one you said you loved? Did you ever love me? Was I just a rebound to build your centre up again? I gave you everything I am hopping you will appreciate me, what a fool i was to believe that, how stupid of me, slowly I am dying inside, piece by piece I feel my hope fading, the hope I had when my parents were no longer around and you said “what ever happens we will get through it together, take a LEAP OF FAITH” Fuck the faiths, fuck the empty promises, fuck the spoils, fuck it all.
Nothing is worth this much pain, death seams like the only peace I will ever get, the faiths are telling me to let go and move on, what more will god throw at me? Till he calls me back in to his loving embrace I hate the fact you’re trying to act as though we can still be friends, how little you know me.

Bonne 5 ans qui aurait pu être.

Il aurait fait 5 ans neuvième mois de mai dernier 2010, vous dites que votre mal que je n'ai pas la passer avec toi, et pourtant vous ne me demandez pas de vous rejoindre. Vous dites que toutes ces choses dites que vous m'aimez et que vous souhaitez que j'étais là, mais pourtant, quand j'ai besoin de vous plus que vous me laissez seul dans cette bataille, c'est une bataille que je suis perdant rapidement le sol. J'ai peur de ne pas survivre à cette guerre, et il va me coûter mon âme, pour tuer le don de Dieu est un immortel péché et ne peut être pardonné, il coutures comme le seul moyen de trouver la paix. Donc beaucoup de démons continuer à se battre pour le contrôle de mon émotion, les attaques guerrier rusé ni le corps ni l'esprit, elle s'attaque au coeur, comme quand il n'y a pas volonté de vivre tout grand guerrier sera maussade mourir, comme vous le voyez vous étiez le seul chose en gardant mon vivant, comme je t'ai tout donné, non-discutable. Vous avez été mon ancre de tenir et de continuer à combattre le bon combat de regarder vers l'avant. Je suppose que je n'étais pas utile de garder autour.


Ma très chère joie, je vais manquer les moments que nous passions ensemble, tous plus qu'un lointain souvenir maintenant, entassés dans des boîtes dans mon cellier, vont-ils rester caché avec mon cœur, enfermé pour l'éternité. Pour que vous j'ai vraiment donné mon coeur et personne d'autre. Adieu mon amour, dans une autre vie j'espère que nous nous reverrons.

only the truth can set you a blaze

People always say that the truth will set you free, but what they don't know is that in now a days society no one want to hear the truth and they prefer to hear a more politically correct version of the truth, because if you do tell the truth, they wont be able to accept it and will retaliate with such viciousness you'll just wish you were dead, my greatest love in my life was JOY, and now since she has left me, i just wished i was dead and have lost all meaning to my life. I feel so empty in side and sadden to know that she will just walk away from me just because she wanted to be single and i just feel that its not fair on how she gave the excuse that because i did what ever was so against her principles and in actual fact she just needed a reason to leave me. Its not fair that you did that Joy, you said you loved me, but you know nothing of being in love because you only love your self, your such a selfish person, that used me when you were down and now that you have a life and all you toss me away like yesterdays garbage..... how do you say that you love some one and leave them when they need you most!!!!!!!HOW!!!! WHY???!?!?!?!?!?!?! DO YOU LEAVE ME LIKE THIS!?!??!
i have never felt such pain before.... this cut in my heart and soul keeps bleeding .... i don't want to go through this life anymore...